A friend asked me the other day, "where do you see us/yourself/me in 5 years?"
Has anyone asked you this question before? No has for me, it honestly sent chills down my back. I have always struggled with looking into the future, I can't really see anything. It is all just blurry to me. I have no clue where I will be in 5 years, who my friends will be, what job I will have. One thing I am almost sure about is the type of person I will be; I will continue to care about everyone around me, want to give as much as I have and continue to grow to be the best person I could be.
But how can I predict where we will be? I can have an educated guess of what you will be up to when you are 24 years old. Yet who knows, I can't predict someone else's future anymore than anyone can predict mine. I wanted to answer this question so badly for my friend but I just couldn’t. That maybe as you grow older it is easier to predict your future. That you will more or less be doing the same thing, that your goals will be to get that promotion or buy that car you have always wanted. But at age 18 your life is changing so much that how could anyone know where they will be in the next 5 years. They can assume they will have a college degree and just find the first job they can after college. That’s really it.
I hope one day I will be better at looking at my future, that I have an answer for someone who asks me. Maybe I do have that answer already, but I am too afraid to share it. What if I fall short? What would I look like then? If I tell someone my dreams for myself in 5 years and they don’t come true then what?
A lot of the time when I write I have no plan, I use writing as a break from my mind. I write or type words onto a page and give my mind sometime to look over them, to understand all that is running through my head. All my words have meaning to me, that every word I write is helping me solve a puzzle in my own head. So as I write and as you read these words, we are figuring out everything together basically.
I do have dreams of what I want to be and what I want to study. That I know what I am good at or what I am passionate about. These things are simply helping others, I love being around kids and teaching, I love to study english and psychology. Yes I have goals for myself in the future, that I know what I want and who I want to be. Although I continue to struggle with looking into the future. I see myself with a lot of the people I am with now, that I will continue to love a lot of them and want to do anything I can to make them smile. That part of me won't change in the next 5 years. I hope that I will continue you to see the positive things, continue surrounding myself with people that push me to be better and that make me happier.
Ever since my friend asked me where I see us/yourself/myself in 5 years I have been thinking nonstop about it. I am pushing myself to think about things. Yes it is very vague and I just have a few pinpoints put together but for me that's a start. A week ago I never thought about it before, about the future, but now I think I have made great progress.
I wonder if the person asking the question affects your answer. That if my mom asked me this question, someone I know who will always be in my life what my answer would be like. That this person who asked me, very well might not be in my life in 5 years or even the next year. So I wonder if that changed my answer to the question…
I guess now in 5 years I will have to look back on this blog I started and read about it. I basically put no exact points of where I will be in 5 years because like I said I have no idea, but it would be funny to see what my thoughts were when I was 17 as I look back as 22 year old. So to my future self, I hope all is well in your life. I hope you figured out who the important people are and stuck with them. Are you happy with whatever it is you are doing? Did you achieve my goals, to help people in anyway that you can? Whether you are studying psychology, english, teaching kids or a job I never predicted... I know you are doing the right thing for you, for me, for us. That the person you are right now is someone I am going to be proud to be, someone I worked hard on becoming.
Greta Ann Vanderblue.